every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Randomize
