He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
