I cockslap morals
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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