Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize