He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
