there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
