You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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