And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
