im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
be right there i have to get my cape
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
