what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
