hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
we're so committed to being not committed
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
