i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
