She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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