I'm so fucking centered right now
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
