Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
