All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
