thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
this is an emotional support booty call
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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