i barfeds in our rink
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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