it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
