She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
