your parents love me but you hate me
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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