Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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