it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize