I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
