the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
