These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
