Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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