Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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