Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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