it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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