my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
