We got so high we made milksteak
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
