What did we do last night that was yellow?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
