Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
