I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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