I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
