I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Randomize
