hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
