I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Redeem this text for a blowjob
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
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