I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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