you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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