the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
