Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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