oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
