As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
