lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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