Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
