I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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