So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
