i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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