it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
