I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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