Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
