I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
