He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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