Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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