the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Randomize
