My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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