I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
