I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
