Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I would fuck him just for his dog
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
