Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
pray to the hookup gods
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
